A Damned Good Reason
by ShopFront
Summary: People keep reading things into Max taking regular coffee breaks with Alec.


**Title**: A Damned Good Reason

**Pairing**s: past Max/Logan, Max/Alec.

**Spoilers**: Both seasons, this is set immediately following the end of _Freak Nation_.

**Notes**: This was written for **dazedizzy**, for the **Jam Pony Fic Winter Ficathon** on livejournal. The prompts were _secrets, 'I like the way he takes his coffee'_, and _'do you know what darkness is?'_

* * *

**A DAMNED GOOD REASON  
**

* * *

"Do you know what darkness is?"

"What the hell you talking about now, boo?"

"Darkness. Not oh look the generator's blown again but… dark, like when it's inside you and you're not sure whether there's someone who can shine a flashlight bright enough. Or maybe whether anyone even has any idea how big the flashlight would need to be."

Max was talking lightly and tracing the rim of her mug absentmindedly, like refusing to look Original Cindy in the eye would make the conversation sound a little less serious. She kept her eyes fixed determinedly on the wall beyond Cindy's shoulder instead, like she was watching the crowd, like she was busy calculating war strategies around each of the transgenics passing in front of her eyes rather than talking about her boy.

_Her_ boy? Urgh, now there was a phrase she'd have to make sure she never repeated out loud.

"I thought you usually saved all the introspection for coffee with Alec, hmm," Cindy deliberately shifted to the side, blocking Max's view and frowning at her, but Max just shrugged and diverted her attention to the tabletop between them.

"I don't know. He's just so busy trying to figure out how to sneak you guys back out of here without the new border patrol noticing and-"

"And you needed your fix of bitter angst and twisted understanding, only you picked the wrong coffee to do it over. You two have your foul, black stuff for all your dark, little secrets. You _did_ notice I scrounged up the last of the milk and sugar around this place for us just now, right?" Max looked up sharply.

"Hey, it's all right," Cindy smiled reassuringly. "You have your whole complicated thing going on, I get it. You don't need to explain, he smuggles in the good stuff from Columbia or whatever to bribe you into talking, and you seem to talk to him like you don't talk to anyone else. Not anymore, anyway."

"What, not even with you?" Max tried to joke it off, but she just got raised eyebrows. "So, what, you think we have some kind of weird Max'n'Alec thing going on? And anyway, I just happen to like the way he takes his coffee."

"Girl, I _know_ it's a Max'n'Alec thing, you don't have to pretend with me," and Max knew that, she did. "It's alright, alright?" And maybe it was, or maybe it could be, if they just had the time, or maybe had it before. Before everything blew up in their faces and they practically got cornered in Terminal City, stuck planning a war.

* * *

"What happened to it being over?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," once again Max found herself carefully keeping her attention on her coffee. There was a fine line between being focused on something and obviously avoiding looking anyone in the eye, but she had all that cat DNA. She was supposed to be good at the balance thing.

"You do know what I'm talking about, that sickening display of plastic and bleach and hand holding up there last week," Alec countered quickly, and oh boy, Max could just see the unimpressed eyebrow lift and the not so amused smirk. She flashed a quick glare at his left cheekbone for the sake of appearances, but had to frown and pretend to knock her sunglasses off the side of the table when he twisted to catch her gaze.

_Just don't look him in the eye, Max. For all your talk, he's not as dumb as you like to say he looks._

"You mean Logan, right?" Not that it was really a question but her soldier senses were tingling, warning her that her ruse needed shoring up.

When she got nothing but silence in response she barely restrained the urge to sigh.

"What," she snapped. "Well? Spit it out! Some of us actually have work we have to go do, Alec." This time she met his gaze head on, a clear challenge and she almost wanted him to push. He was usually good at that, pushing until Max lost her temper and said something bitchy that didn't cut him nearly enough slack. The knowledge that she should apologise was at least usually enough to calm her down and screw her head back on straight. That, at the very least, sounded appealing right about now.

"I know I said I didn't want to be the bad guy here Max, but I think you want to avoid that even more than I do."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Max gritted out carefully.

"Secrets, Max. We're not like them, even with all this cheery solidarity and declaring our own kingdom, we're not like them. He's never going to understand your games. Our games." Alec sighed and scrubbed a hand across the nape of his neck.

"Pretending and secrets to drive him away for his own good, and then more secrets to give him hope? To make him think he has something to come back to when he goes outside to pick up his hacker gig? Come on Max, you're smarter than that. He's not going to understand it when he figures you out, and it's going to blow up on you. Don't you remember Explosives 101 from Manticore? Your first objective is to be away from the bomb when it goes off."

He held her gaze relentlessly, searching her face and probably taking note of every little twitch, leaving her feeling stripped down and raw. Then he shrugged and held up his hands in surrender, his usual smirk firmly back in place.

"You know what? Never mind, forget I said anything."

Then he was leaving, and Max felt like she was watching him walk slowly away in a dream, still scrubbing his hand nervously through his hair and looking very much like he already wanted to eat his words. _Alec…,_ and she wasn't sure if she thought it or if she said it aloud, but he was stopping in the doorway and he was walking back. Back to her, straight and steady and there were hands on her shoulders, pulling her close, and she found her eyes were drifting shut without her say-so.

"The last time he let you go it was because he wanted to do what was right for you. He wanted to give you the best possible chance to be happy, don't you think maybe he deserves that same respect back?" Alec rested his forehead against her forehead, and she could feel the moving air against her mouth, her face, as he whispered.

"I know I don't have the best motivations here," and what could he mean by that, "but I honestly believe you're not right this time. You _were_ the first time, letting him go, but not reeling him back. Not without a damn good reason, and I'm not so sure you have one anymore."

Then he was gone while she was still struggling to process his words. Gone, leaving her to trace her tingling lips and wonder why she felt as breathless as if he'd tried to kiss the very life out of her.

* * *

The next time Alec finally managed to track Max down, she was perched in one of her favourite known nooks against her better judgement, knowing she was leaving herself open to discovery. It was high up, and probably a little too close to the edge of Terminal City for strict safety, but Max was starting to feel claustrophobic enough to consider trying to climb those fences in broad daylight just for thrills, so she couldn't bring herself to care.

The other transgenics had grounded her, said she was one of those most likely to be recognised and she had to stay out of sight and not go on the supply runs. They'd fairly quickly managed to find breaks in the National Guard, smuggling the humans out of Terminal City before they could get sick, and then bringing food and firearms back in. Facing an indeterminate length of inaction, even trying to avoid Alec had lost its shine fairly quickly. She could have snuck out anyway, but they were having enough trouble rallying all the different transgenic abilities and training into one effective force without one of their most vocal ringleaders undermining the chain of command.

"Miss them yet?" Alec asked softly, holding the mug of coffee in front of him like a peace offering. Max took it and then burned her tongue in her haste to avoid answering, making him chuckle dryly as she spluttered.

"Look, I wanted to apologise for-"

"Don't," she held a hand up in his face, cutting him short, and put the coffee down beside her to cool. "I've been thinking, and maybe you were right. It's been… it's been hard with them gone and maybe it's been hard for them too, and _don't_ mention the video link. It's not the same and you know it."

Alec shut his mouth with a snap and looked sheepish.

"I'm dragging it out for no real reason. I've been trying to do this for months anyway, just because we had no choice this time round doesn't make it any less needed," Max said firmly. "I wish Original Cindy could have stuck around, but being away from Logan was... necessary anyway."

Max gazed out across the top of Terminal City, _their_ city, and avoided Alec's eyes by picking her mug back up. They sat side by side in somewhat comfortable silence, nursing their coffee while they watched the sun rise and listened to the muffled noises of others moving around floors below them as some transgenics got up and others bunked down.

"I'm not even really sure what I thought I was doing with Logan," Max finally admitted quietly, shaking her head. "I'm starting to think this whole siege enforced separation thing would have been impossible to deal with even if we did know we could touch again when it was over."

Alec was looking at her with startled, guilty eyes.

"Max, you know you shouldn't… I'm good at mouthing off-"

His eyes went wider still when she deliberately stroked the tip of one finger across his lower lip to shut him up.

"You didn't let me finish," she admonished with a smirk. "Besides, maybe I'm thinking I've got damned good reasons for something else instead." _Or someone._

Then she stood up and tried to walk casually to the door, stubbornly not checking over her shoulder whether he was, just maybe, touching his mouth. If there was any justice in the world, his lips would be tingling for days, too. Serve him right.

* * *

The next time Max spied Alec at a distance, she didn't duck around a corner or hide behind someone else as she'd been doing the past week. She smiled and walked quietly up behind him to tap him on the shoulder, and when he turned around she pulled him down by his shirt front and planted a kiss right on his very surprised lips.

He was warm against her, and sweet under her tongue, and she felt like their whole messed up world was slipping away from under her fingers as she stroked his hip and gently tugged at his hair.

When she reluctantly peeled herself away from him, he was frozen still above her. His hands were clutching uselessly at the air beside her face, his cheeks were flushed, and his mouth was softly parted in lust and shock, and he just _stared._

Max suddenly wanted to laugh loud and carefree, like they weren't waiting to see if Seattle would break out into it's own unique form of civil war. Like they were free, and they didn't need any damned good reasons for anything, other than because something made them happy.

She wanted to laugh because it felt like Alec had found the flashlight, or maybe they'd found it together or she'd given it to him or he'd had it all along, but at the very least they'd found their own damn good reason.


End file.
